just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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