matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
wow bdsm is so cute
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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