Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He's on the porch naked. Help.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
