on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Acid is not a monday night drug
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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