Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
