It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
