If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
