FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
