school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I touched a dick in church today
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
