so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
