I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
