So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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