It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Randomize
