Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You can't motorboat a personality
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
