I heard we made out
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
