one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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