You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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