Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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