The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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