Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
