escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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