Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
