Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
