We named our party play list daddy issues
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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