Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
he puts the penis in happiness.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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