guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
