so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
