I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just had sex on a roof
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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