Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
