I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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