dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
