Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
My day in three words: secret purse cake
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
