and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
