Whod you bang
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
