Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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