loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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