Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
