Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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