I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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