I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
