why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
