The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
