I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
