I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
