Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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