Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
