Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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