I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
