i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
