You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
