could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
