Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
