Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
